Setiap yang berlaku pasti ada sebabnya.
Setiap ujian pasti ada manisnya.
Tarbiah lah hati ini~ tahanlah gelodak jiwa.
Jauhilah ikhtilat..
Rasa sakit sangat nak tinggalkan perasaan tu. Nak jauhkan diri pun tak boleh sebab tugas. Sebab tu aku listkan dalam hati kenapa nak 5uk@ dia, apa yang aku boleh dapat kalau 5uk@ dia dan macam mana masa depan aku nanti kalau berterusan macam ni. Hmm... buat masa sekarang, macam ni jelah yang aku mampu buat.
Dulu aku pandang remeh benda ni, dalam hati selalu aku ingatkan atau tegaskan yang aku takkan terlibat dengan soal perasaan macam ni. Minat je pun pada mulanya aku ingatkan macam biasa-biasa je, macam aku minat orang lain jugak, tapi entah kenapa dah jadi makin kuat. Tambahan lagi, nak jauhkan diri dari ikhtilat yang ni memang agak susah sebab ikhtilat in my case adalah dalam kategori harus when my relation to this person is only because of duty.
So, I'll try to endure it myself, telling me that to take this feeling serious will not bring me anywhere or any good. But how long can I do this? To make things worse, this is my crucial moment as a student 'cause I have, exams coming. To handle two things at once isn't a good task for me to do.
I hope that I can always lower my gaze and also 'hijabing' my heart from this kind of feeling.
Mujahadah is the priority now.
I should think about my parents, my study, siblings and the most important thing is REDHA ALLAH in anything that I do. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease everything.
Anyway, I want to forget this feeling as soon as possible because it keep disturbing me. No matter what I do, his image will turn up in my mind. If people said that to cut this kind of feeling, you must cut any tie that can relates with him. But, what can I do because I'm bound by duty with him.
By any means, I'm still have to connect with him. It's hard to constrain our heart and mind from thinking about the person.
I know, yes my mind accept it that keeping this feeling wouldn't bring any good and I admit that doing things for Allah and Allah will reward you better than this but to climb to that level on be a able to constrain myself from things that "shouldn't" isn't an easy things.
I just have to do it~
