Saturday, October 25, 2014

Liebster Award~ I've done it !

Assalamualaikum~
[post yang lebih 'proper' selepas kurang dari setengah jam post a depressed entry]

Okey, saya sedang menyahut satu tag post (ye kot, tak tahu apa orang panggil ni) oleh Kak Anisah tiba-tiba terperasan ada sesuatu kat shoutbox~ hmm... okey..

 tak tahu kenapa saya dipilih.... tapi sebelum ni saya tengah depressed sikit, 'feels like emotion been crampled' tapi sekarang saya sedar, Allah nak bagi tahu melalui cara ni yang 'everything must have a reason to occur'. Bersyukur sangat sebab dapat sedar benda macam tu.

It his how Allah create the happiness. Now I really get it and feel it when there are a saying that " He gives us thunder and rain so we can see the rainbow and realize that our world is better than that". Yeah, he want us to change our view of perspective. I get it. Terima kasih Allah.


Okey, habis dah bab tu, kita tengok benda ni pulak, katanya, ni merupakan Liebster Award. Tak faham? Try bukak link blog tu.. Fahamkan.. Hehe... Maaf kalau rasa nak hempuk blog saya ni sebab kena bazirkan kuota internet buka blog lain pulak... Tapi, betul... maafkan kemalasan saya yang melampau ni... jangan marah ~ XD

Sekarang, saya jawab pula soalan yang cik'N ajukan..

1)Zodiak dan umur anda?
zodiak ialah si kambing gurun. Ye, saya si capricorn yang akan sambut hari lahir ke 18 pada 31/12 ni.

2)Genre music bagaimana yang anda suka dan siapa the lattest menjadi kegilaan anda?
Semua jenis genre, tak kira pop, rock, ballad, nasyid tapi setakat ni tak rela dengan hard metal ke apa ke yang agak 'mengarut' tu. The lattest punya tak pasti sangat, tapi setakat ni yang Hey! Say! JUMP dengan JPOP/ROCK yang lain...

3)Adakah anda peminat novel?jika ye,apa pendapat anda tentang karya melur jelita?

Minat la jugak novel walaupun dah tak baca sangat sekarang... Saya pernah dengar je nama Melur Jelita tapi tak pernah lagi baca karya beliau.


4)Adakah anda sukakan barangan brandy  dan nyatakan sebabnya?
What kind of brandy? suka jugak, tapi tengok atas jenis. Barang yang berjenama ni senang sikit nak claim kalau rosak ke apa sebab diorang dah ada imej. *Uwaahh, jahat molep*

5)Adakah anda seorang yang boros?
Sebelum ni tak sangat tapi bila dah duduk jauh dari family, jadi boros la jugak.... sikit... bila beli makanan..

6)Pendapat anda tentang makanan segera yang menjadi isu?
Isu? Apa? Maaf la kalau saya ni macam katak bawah tempurung besi... Tau makan je...

7)Pendapat anda tentang perokok?
Bau busuk. Bazir duit. Gigi hodoh. Meng'kaya'kan Israel dan konco-konconya.

8)Ciri2  blog yang macam mana anda suka baca?*menarik bagi anda
Blog yang ringkas, tak ada widget pelik-pelik yang menyebabkan internet kuota saya habis kalau nak bukak, tak ada lagu yang tiba-tiba ada dan  menyebabkan saya tutup terus blog tu. Isi menarik dan bukan jenis 'publicity-demanded-post' macam post yang cerita pasal kes buruk orang lain.  I want to know the story of the owner, not others story who've been transformed into others.


9)Apakah perkara yang pernah memalukan,yang pernah anda lakukan?
Banyak sangat *because I'm self-conscious person*.

10)Apakah detik paling bahagia yang terjadi dalam hidup anda?
Bila saya mampu fikir yang saya orang yang bahagia dan dirahmati.

11)Pendapat anda tentang blog weirdlavender.blogspot.com ?
Simple blog, nice decorate. Mula-mula masuk rasa tenang sikit sebab bila selongkar blog ni, I got a a feeling that she know what she want to express. Cheh, macam pakar sangat saya ni bila nak 'judge' orang lain.

Okey, ni pulak soalan yang saya kemukakan pada anda-anda yang di 'tag' ye.. Bersedialah~ hehe..
*macam Naruto pulak*

1. Siapa kawan baik awak?
2. Apa perasaan awak sekarang?
3. Mana lagi sedap, teh ke susu? Ke tak minum dua dua?
4. Masa kecil atau sekarang, pernah main tak baling selipar/bola kaki tiga/bola rusa/berkaitan selipar? Best kan kalau dapat hempuk muka orang masa main permainan tu?
5. Pusing ke kanan, pastu tulis apa yang awak tengok
6. Suka tak duduk kat Malaysia?
7. Apa yang awak nak buat kalau awak perdana menteri Malaysia?
8. Apa perasaan mak awak sekarang? Cuba teka/tanya?
9. Masa kecil dulu nak jadi apa?
10. Apakah dunia ni dalam pandangan awak?
11. Dalam 3 patah perkataan, nyatakan diri awak.

Pada 11 yang di tag ni, I've chain this game to you ~


Lastly, sorry if i did any mistake in writing this. Sorry if  you annoyed with my 'Manglish' writing because this way, I'll be more honest in delivering words. Malay is to bold for me to express my word from my heart.

Until then. jya~

I t i s s o m e t i m e s

i miss my 'kazoku'. i want to babble many things~ i want to act my ownself, i want to express myself better~ it just to exhausting to kept all inside. i want to laugh, do stupid things, act all mad suddenly mumbling something that i don't get it myself and so on. but here, i have to watch everything that i do. I've come to hate it. it had make me tired. I scared to act my ownself cause I don't want people to hate me. I want to express myself... really
Oh, I need my 'kazoku'.

Sighing~ everything seems so wrong. I'm always depressed here, not knowing what to do to make myself feel better. I can't act like I'm 'tensai' person. Seeing everyone doing the obligatory things just make myself feel very wrong. I feel like I did a very big crime...

I hate the way I think, it's negative ! My inner self is rotten, maybe. What should I do to make myself feel better, really.

Thinking about my own self, it always depressing. I want to tell it loud, my feeling. This unsecure, unsure, not very optimistic. What had make me like this?

Way to complicate! Though it just me who complicated the things.

Woah, I remember when I want to escape from study at home, to keep me feel unashamed I did the chores such as washing dishes, sweeping floor, tidying my room and other just to escape from studying back then.

But here, it just study or having an entertainment. Study, okay, I feel like I'm a 'tensai' person, but doing other than that here make me feel like I'm really bad person, like I'm doing some crime that I can't attone it in future.

It's very suffocating, keeping a thought like this. I want to 'yell' my heart out..... telling it to other person here, I wonder if they listen to me. Rather than having my heart broken, 'unlistened-to' I choose to have a heart broken when keeping this thought deeply.

White and black. Red and blue. Sky and land. It's good to be contrast for awhile. It's a relieved to be able to know what should and shouldn't and also to stand to it.

Fall in love. Recently, it had bothered my mind and a bit my 'heart'?  By the way, it annoyed me. It annoyed me when the thoughts always there. What a weird process to a person!

Hateful. Unsatisfation. Hard. Clueless. A bit jealousy. Unsecure.