How to get motivated?

So, I’ve just completed my degree, convocation, temporary job and now left with nothing to do. Yeah, once it was my dream like this. Not doing anything. Just some house chores and self-activity. But eventually by doing this right now, I’ve realize that it’d make me lazier than ever. I’m too lazy to go out, too lazy to even doing something on my Bucket List and so on. And somehow, by not doing anything, just hooked with my phone, I think it have affected my mental health. By saying that, I’ve meant to say that Social Media has affected my mental health. I’m too focused on things that shouldn’t be taken care by me. Though it’s good that knowing what current issues are and what are today’s concerns, I realized that it doesn’t change my life whatsoever. Worrying or keep thinking about it don’t make me better either. My works won’t be done, and I’ve kept procrastinating things. But, that’s my life are right now.  

This comfort zone of this lifestyle, mainly by not doing anything has make me unmotivated. Even I also keep delaying some obligatory things for my posting such as medical check-up, bank business and all. It’s important yet, I can’t do it. It’s not that I can’t, it just that I won’t.

By saying this, I know I’m the most individual that don’t have any right to complain, critic or justify some current issues and debate over that.

By being an introvert, it should be that being at home and doing some activity just by yourself is the most comfortable to do. But, I’m also a masochist. To grow is to go out from your comfort zone. I realize that since I’m this introverted, I had become very naïve in life. Less-mingle with people in my younger self make me sometimes struggle with understanding people. Sometimes too much empathy given to someone that I shouldn’t to, and sometimes can’t quite grasp a situation. And this also had made me this gullible. To some point it is too transparent to my own lecturer that he even said to me “You’re like a robot. Like been programmed, too obedient” and “be careful if you ever got  a boyfriend.” At first, yeah I’m having trouble to understand it fully until again, my own father said it to me, with different subtext yet in that context. Since then also, I’ve intense feeling of dislike toward that word (naïve). It feels like when someone said I’m too naïve or innocent, it is actually a polite way to say I’m stupid and gullible. Sadly to say I know it’s true. My friends, they always pranking me, throw a joke and other’s mischief stuff because I’m fun (read: gullible) though I know they don’t have any ill intention. Realizing this, sometimes it irritates me because I’m that stupid to understand or grasp real meaning of anything.

So, by this comprehension, I've felt that I need to grow more. Should feel all the pain of rejection and be exposed with all kind of situation. But then I'm become paranoid, with this kind of personality, can I handle it? Won't I be broken? Though deep inside I always believe that I'm very strong. 

Okay done with this introverted-gullible-things. As I said earlier, I'm don't have any enthusiasm to do anything that require me to go outside. It's troublesome since I need to leave my room, get ready and so on. Look, even to complete the sentence I had become this lazy. 

Everyday before sleep though, I have this goal in my mind, what I want to complete by tomorrow. But when morning rise, I kind of not-feeling-to-do-it and delayed to the next morning. For a week or more I've done this and now, a new month arrive. I'm sorry dear self, dear time for all of this procrastination.  

Recently, I saw this image on Twitter about what they say is victim mentality. Yup, I do acknowledge it. You know whats's your weakness, nevertheless no effort to overcome it, that's what real LOSER are. Because to me, the effort is the most important. To be sad or weeping over a misfortune or failure is after you keep striving over it. Then, it's okay to say that. But then, the real winner is the one who are not keeping with the excuses but always trying and not fall to that loop again. 

It seems that I need to force myself because anything will not happen if I don't make my move. Yup, rezeki takkan datang bergolek. I don't want to chase away my rezeki. 

Yosh, get ready !